Demonic Angel (onedemonicangel) wrote,
Demonic Angel
onedemonicangel

OMG....

I'm sure quite a few of you like myself have been a member on one website or another in which you are contacted via email from someone who is "an antique salesman that is currently out of the country". Am I right?

Have you ever really read through these emails and looked at these idiots profiles?

I usually don't, the picture that comes with it is always someone who can be found in a magazine ad and I just simply block them. Not to mention that the email is so blurred together that it's barely readable.

This morning I was bored and decided to see if I could play along with one of these idiots. I have to say I was astonished that they themself don't even take the time to look over what they are sending you....or even what they are listing in their profile.

First off, the email under the cut. I have separated it quite abit in order to try to make some sense of it all because it came in one giant paragraph. Unfortuantely even separated it still doesn't make much sense at all.



Hello
Am Alex Toll 45 Years Old. am from Ohio in Carroll .
i live with my i son is Tom. good looking, perfect body figure and cute.
I saw your profile and was delighted to contact you, I hope you will be the true loving, honest and caring Woman that I have been looking for, And I have something special to tell you about me, .
Well i'm a single man, with one Kids. that's in need of real and perfect love,
I need a Woman that can take me through, see , I have been hurt so many times by different Women and wouldn't want that to happen to me again.....thats the reason why I said that I need love.......
I am far from a millionaire and am not out for anything but love from someone.....
Having someone that loves you and supports you in your life through good and bad times and wonâ€,,t give up on you is what I am looking for.....
Honesty and trust are what makes a relationship work......
I prefer to watch a movie or attend the theater rather than read a novel. I also enjoy travel, experiencing different geographies and people......
My eyes are blue, and I have fair white skin. I do not smoke. I do drink on social occasions....... well
Concerning sexuality, I am not a promiscious woman, my desire is to be sexually faithful to the Woman I marry
If two people love each other and will communicate what they like and do not like about their partner's sexual behavior,
I believe many problems can be resolved
Moreover I am currently working on my own cos i had to try something else after i lost almost all i had to my last relationship..
i just got into the business of collecting antiques...it is a nice thing to do..i buy and sell antiques.......
And am presently out of the state on a business trip to get some antiques.....
Am doubting if i will be coming back to the state this week or hopefully next week i think..
Well i will be waiting to hear back from you soon.....
Remember i need real love and am not not here for game, or either to be played on I got yahoo IM...we can get to chat there live.. ...
I also write poems in my spare time.....distance is not a problem..if i find the right WOMAN..i dont mind relocating... i have relocated before when i was in love..i dont mind during it again as long as i find the right Woman..
i am a very honest and truthful man..i hate lies and deceit..i want real love..if u aint ready for what i said...please dont hit me back..
i am getting too old to play games..i am a very busy one...lol..very independent...hope to hear from you soon!!!
Alex........

*************************My Response***********************************

I looked over your profile and read your email (even though it took more time than I would like because it's hard to understand).
You truly want honesty? Can you handle it? Here we go...You're email raises alot of questions...because your email has me confused.

Your profile, picture, and name says your a man but then you actuallly say "I'm not a promiscious woman"? Which is it? Are you a man, a woman, or a he-she?

On the topic of proile pictures again. That's an awfully dark tan for someone who truly has fair white skin.

I'm also very concerned on why you felt the need to tell me that your son is good looking, perfect body, and cute. That comment right there, I want to notify the authorities of....that's frelling sick.

On the subject of your child again, how can this child live with you if you are currently out of 'the state' for the next week or two? Why is it so hard for you to get back to Ohio if you're merely out of the state? Just jump on a plane and spend the weekend with your child...Geesh!

Another thing that concerns me is that you would actually move your life, and more importantly your son across the country or world for someone you meet on the internet? A job, a better life, a better climate to live through an illness is all one thing. But for someone you only know through talking to online? Do you really truly care about this perfect child that you live with but have to leave by themself for the next two weeks?

Now a little about me. I am an honest, caring, faithful, and a very loving woman.
I am NOT looking for a long distance relationship with anyone.
I will NOT accept anyone who so inconsicerate to their own child's needs that they will relocate their life just to be with someone they have only met over the internet.
I do NOT want the perfect love because the only place that ever truly exsisted was in 1950-1960 television shows and they are and were boring.
The intimate life I want is NOT to be learned by talking. The needs of whomever my partner is and I will be learned by experimenting and exploring one on one in the same room so that we can feel each others skin as we are doing what we can easily tell the other one enjoys being done.
I cannot stand someone who cries how they want someone who can actually be honest but in the same exact email they themself are doing nothing but telling one lie after another.

Finally, I'm NOT stupid and I'm NOT guillable. I've already heard many times from your co-workers, buddies, former co-workers, and who knows maybe even you before. In fact I believe that maybe I've even received this same exact email before and it astonishes me that nobody has even taken the time to correct the all so many inconsisties and grammar errors that even a first grader can pickup on.




Now for this "man's" profile. I also had to separate this because it was all on blurred paragraph. Please note what is in bold and/or my comments on it.


my Alex Toll 45years Old .
am from Ohoi in Carroll.
and am Divorced am single now with One son. for the pass 7years now .
am living alon with my Kids. kids? only one son is mentioned in the sentence above
am a business man inporting and exporting goods like laptop and like to travel alot .
I was born in the month of Nov on the 28th day.
Hair: baclk Height: 5'6", Eyes: blue Bust: 33", Dress: 6, Waist: 25", Shoe: 7.5 - 8, Hips: 34 and I have a very light complexion! Nice curvy figure for a....man? WOW
I will burn very easily in the direct sunlight the first time I am in the Sun.
My favorite color is Blue on myself and on a woman I would like to see him wearing a I really adore the color purple on a woman it will just increase his handsome ten fold at least, it will to me! Don't really know what to say to that...still questioning gender here
I'm a single. Was there any reason to question this since it was said at the beginning? Wait, yes becase just before that it said 'divorced'.
I just wanted to let you know the kind of person I am, I am a Man that is in need of real and perfect love, I need a woman that can take me through, see, I have been hurt so many times by different women and wouldn't want that to happen to me again...that's the reason why I said that I need love....


That's it. Don't believe me? Here's the link to this idiot's profile. Don't worry, it's not like the dreaded MySpace in that if you click on it it will spam your email box. HoverSpot is much more user friendly...

http://www.hoverspot.com/1689561



You know what? I really need a life.,....head-desk head-desk head-desk
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