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Monday, January 4th, 2016
8:41 am - New Life Begins.

Seems strange for me to be sitting at home on a Monday morning with nobody to call in sick to or no worries of how my desk will be when I return  to the office. There is no office for me to return to.
Thursday was so different when I left there. 16 years of desk collectables in a small box, hugs to those I worked with & promises of getting together for lunches, and ton of tears. I've heard those promises a hundred times and still await a lunch date, not that it matters but would be nice to hear the truth for once.
Anyhow, the doctor over the past we have run 2 CT scans on me, one of my sinuses to see if there was a deviation and the other for possible cancer. Luckily both came out clean.....Hugh sigh of relief.
Now they want to do some testing on my thyroid  because they are back to believing at may be the issue, especially with a 35 lb weight loss in less than 3 months.  Unfortunately with unemployment  also comes no insurance. I tries to sign up for the oh so wonderful Affordable Health Care program but typically the time they sent me my user ID info the web told me I wouldn't have insurance until Feb 2nd.   I can't go that long like this WTH?????
Tomorrow Ray is off work so we're gonna go to the Florida Blue office and see what can be done until then odds if they can even find the plan I saw and liked that was offered before I signed up since it seems to have disappeared.  That way I can continue on with the testing and can find out exactly what's up withme.
I hope I'm not jinx in this but I may wake up screaming tomorrow.  I've been telling people that oil all these health issues are ďue to lack of sleep and stress I'm gonna scream.  Since the job ended I've had twice as much sleep and the swelling seems to have gone away, but last night I took the last of my antibiotic to help with the shortness of breathe too. So we can only wait and see what tomorrow morning brings.   Hopefully I get to scream.

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Saturday, December 26th, 2015
3:53 pm - The final week

The past few weeks have literally been hell. Since Dec 9th I've been battling swelling in my face and throat. Went to Care spot out here twice and over 2 weeks time had me on 2 antibodies and a steroid but those didn't work.  They then referred me to an ENT, whom put the scope up my nose and into my throat but couldn't find anything so he referred me to an allergin. Saw the allergin on Thursday and he wanted to know why I thought it was an allergy, I told him that the other doctors thought it was and I was looking for help. His next question made more sense. "Has anyone done any blood work on you at all?" Tearfully I shook my head and apologized. He said "you have no reason to be sorry. I'm sorry those in my profession haven't helped you."  We then left and Ray drove me by his pcp so I could make an appt. Instead they took me in right  away and started the blood work. They also put me on another steroid while I wait for the results. From what is being said it looks like with the swelling and the 30 lbs I've lost they believe it may be thyroid related but are still waiting on results.

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Friday, December 4th, 2015
8:44 pm

Well week 1 of training my replacement is over with. Very nice older woman whom was just as leary about being flown out here  to be trained by us as we were with having to train the women replacing us .  Not to mention that these women just started with Arnold within the last 3 weeks so they really are a little uncomfortable .
My stress is still there but the pain isn't quite as bad as it was. I actually had 2 days with no pain at all which after 2 months was amszing. Course it was thanks to my better half letting me have one of his  anxiety pills just so I could sleep. And man did I sleep  - 9 hours of it too which almost never happens. 4-6 hours yes but 9 wow! I really hate taking meds but I  think I'll be asking for another one to take on Sunday night so  can have a productive day on Monday.

Mr &Mrs Firewalker will be in town tomorrow for their Godson's 4th birthday  and are taking me to lunch. So thrilled, haven't seen them since August !

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Wednesday, November 25th, 2015
6:28 pm - Holding on & Being Held.

Sixteen years ago I was stressed beyond belief. I was a soon to be single parent with no college and no experience other than previously being a Navy wife  & working fast food jobs. None of that mattered because I knew I couldn't support myself & my 8 yr old on that minimum wage part time living but just when I needed it, a door opened.
There was a temp agency that  I saw an ad to that I couldn't pass up so I applied with them. Upon my interview I was told flat out "You have no skills. We won't be able to find  you anything" so I reminded them of their ad, "You ad says you'll  find me something in 90 days or you'll  hire me"
That left her with no other option, but in the fine print it was my job to make sure to check in weekly for a position opening or the agreement was null & void. What did I have to lose?
Every Tuesday for 3 months I'd  check in like clockwork  keeping a. List of names dates & times of who I spoke with when. Finally my last call "hi, it's Nadine Roth. Tomorrow makes 90 days, do you have anything for me?" Turned out they had a job they could not keep  anyone at for more than 2 days.  I grabbed it and ran with it.
At the end on my first week, they were offering me a position for when my 90 days was up physically working there through the agency.
Again that was 16 years ago.

Now here I sit, I've  watched the company I've worked many different positions in gradually shrink. What was once a booming trucking company that  ran in 45 of 50 states with 4 offices in prime locations is now strictly a southwest/Midwest company with one office in Texas.
Over the past year I have watch as dozens of extended family members were gradually escorted from the company & I have cried and prayed for all of them to be okay until they announce they found new jobs on facebook.  All while knowing my day would be coming, but never knowing when.
Two months ago we finally got that answer. My little department of 4 people were called into a conference call in the H.R office where we were thanked for being patient and told our final day would be Dec 31st of this year.  After that we were each called in so we could go over our severance contracts.  We actually got a pretty good deal this way, better than others got.  But once my signature went on that paper that's when everything srarted.
I've been sick with chest congestion that builds up during the work week and almost goes completely away on weekends. On top of that there been major pains through my shoulders back & neck that takes sleeping on an  heating pad and pain killers to make it through the next day. Acid reflux from hell has now made its way into my life, and the newest thing,...this is weird.   The left side of my chin and bottom jaw feel like they've been shot up with novicane but neither the dentist or oral surgeon can tell me why.
Here's the kicker. I know we'll be okay. We have no major bills & I have 3 months Retention pay that starts Jan 1st that will equal my current salary, plus 3 weeks severance pay & 90 vacation hours I'm selling back.  On top of that my faith has become stronger.
Sixteen years ago I cried for months on end, not knowing how I would live or raise my son. But He opened the door we needed to make us stronger. Still sixteen years ago stress and worry never made me hurt like these past 2 months have until this morning.

This morning something told me to really listen to the words to Just Be held by Casting Crowns.  I did and for the first time in years I cried. I cried so hard there was snot pouring out of my nose. For the first time in months I am trying to stop holding on to being strong, I curled up in a now soaking wet snot filled pillow and actually felt like there was someone holding me.

The pain isn't completely gone but it has eased up quite a bit. Now I really need to try to keep this up. I need to let go now more than ever. I know He is holding onto me and the right door will open when it needs to. I just need to continue knowing this.

As for my son, Firewalker.  He's now married and currently in the US Airforce.

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Thursday, December 25th, 2008
8:33 am - Merry Christmas
Please see behind the cut for a bit of a Christmas viewing I recorded for everyone this year.

Hope you enjoy

[Unknown LJ tag]


Love Nadine, Ray, and Tony (who's home this holiday)

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Friday, June 13th, 2008
2:51 pm - Need_I_Say_More???

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Friday, February 8th, 2008
12:36 am - Im 20% prep, 10%Gangster, 30% emo, 20% jock, 70% Redneck
[] You own something from aeropostale
[] You own somthing from hollister
[] You own somthing from american eagle
[] You own somthing from abercromie
[x] You have blonde or brown hair
[) you've been called a prep
[] You have converse
[] you wear ballet flats
[x] You dont play sports
[] You straighten your hair
Total 2
Multiply by 10:

[] You have Bapes
[] You know the song "Thizzle dance"
[] You listen to mac dre
[] You usually wear jerseys
[] You've held a real gun
[] You wear nikes
[] You play basketball or football
[x] You never wear pink
[] You've been called a gangster
[] You listen to gang related music
Total: 1
Multiply by 10

[x] You've worn black nail polish
[] You used to cut your wrists
[] You still cut your wrist
[x] You like "my chemical romance"
[] You wear black eyeliner
[] You have no friends
[x] You usually wear black
[] You've been called emo
[] You Have black hair
[] You rarely talk
[]You sit in corners
Total: 3
Multiply by 10:

[] You have at least 5 medals
[] You have at least 2 trophies
[] You have at least 4 jerseys
[] You watch NBA playoffs
[x] You have had practice almost everyday
[X] You played on a team
[] You've been called a jock
[]You have been told you're good at a sport
[] You've played in at least 7 tournaments
[] You've coached young kids in a sport
Total: 2
Multiply by 10

[x]You live in the south
[x]You have riden a horse
[x]You know what chaps are
[x]you listen to Alabama
[]You proud to be southern
[]you own a rebel flag anything?
[]People say you have a country accent
[x] You've gone mudd boggin
[x]You own a dodge, ford, chevy or Jeep Wrangler
[x]You always were blue jeans
[]People make fun of the way you say things
[]You have ridden a cow before
Total: 7
Multiply by 10

repost as
" Im % prep,%Gangster, % emo, % jock, % Redneck

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Thursday, October 25th, 2007
2:04 pm - Oh this is going to be an Oh so merry X-mas....
But before hand, here's a little Halloween Treatie...

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Thursday, September 27th, 2007
11:34 am - OMG....
I'm sure quite a few of you like myself have been a member on one website or another in which you are contacted via email from someone who is "an antique salesman that is currently out of the country". Am I right?

Have you ever really read through these emails and looked at these idiots profiles?

I usually don't, the picture that comes with it is always someone who can be found in a magazine ad and I just simply block them. Not to mention that the email is so blurred together that it's barely readable.

This morning I was bored and decided to see if I could play along with one of these idiots. I have to say I was astonished that they themself don't even take the time to look over what they are sending you....or even what they are listing in their profile.

First off, the email under the cut. I have separated it quite abit in order to try to make some sense of it all because it came in one giant paragraph. Unfortuantely even separated it still doesn't make much sense at all.

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Now for this "man's" profile. I also had to separate this because it was all on blurred paragraph. Please note what is in bold and/or my comments on it.

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You know what? I really need a life.,....head-desk head-desk head-desk

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Thursday, September 13th, 2007
10:27 pm - Nadine goes.....
Here's the deal: if you want to find out where you go, put Google to the test. Go to Google and type - (your FIRST name) and then type "goes". And don't cheat by looking for the one you like best; just take the first link Google gives you. Then, add your name to the list and repost.

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Thursday, September 6th, 2007
7:48 am - To the one and only ozratbag2

Sexy & Romantic glitter graphics from S e x i l u v . c o m

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Wednesday, September 5th, 2007
9:38 am - Happy Birthday couchforkeight

Sexy & Romantic glitter graphics from S e x i l u v . c o m

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9:30 am - To our darling bubonicplague

Sexy & Romantic glitter graphics from S e x i l u v . c o m

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Wednesday, August 22nd, 2007
2:14 am - Watch what you wish for, even if it's in joking....
How many of you just wanted your system to crash at work so that it would calm down some or that you could go home early?

We use to joke about wishing that would happen....unfortuantley never again.

Don't get me wrong, I love my job more than ever now. I'm finally getting the training I've been begging for for years and I'm forever non-stop doing something.

Well tonight our system was to go down for 1 hour for an upgrade. AS400, email, internet, phones.....everything. 9 pm came and as scheduled the system went down for the upgrade. 10pm....1030pm.... phone call from the MIS department up in PA. "Do not try to get back into the system, there was an error made but it should only take 10-20 minutes to fix. We'll call you when it's okay to try to get in again." Good new is that obviously the phones never went down, BUT

Drivers....over 2,000+ of them out there on the roads missing delivery appointments, their fuel cards not working & have no other way to pay for the few hundred bucks they just pumped into their tanks, being told information they have is wrong, not having appointment numbers, needing q-checks to pay for a required lumper service to unload them, needing to the the information for their next load so they can deliver ontime....worse of all, driver's broken down somewhere on the side of the road needing to be towed.

None of this information or these small tasks that take no time to do or take care of can be done without our system being up. Nor can we fill out a passdown to email to the office in the morning because....hell the system is down. Also we have one or two customers who tender loads over the system that have a 1 1/2 hour time frame for accepting or else they cancel that we get graded on (poor grades for this will result in loss of future business)

1100pm - called, nope not yet....almost

1230am *- nope....

0130 am - time for me to go home. System is still not up and at this point nobody can figure out what is wrong or how long it will take to be fixed.

On top of all this, guess what.

The procedure that was suppose to be done for the upgrade is being rescheduled because it was never done due to someone hit a wrong button somewhere that caused the system wide crash for all 6 of our offices.

Thank goodness I have 'Poppit' on my cell phone that kept me occupied.

current mood: blank

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Tuesday, August 21st, 2007
9:03 am - To our dear deblovesdragon

Sexy & Romantic glitter graphics from Sexi Luv.com

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Thursday, June 14th, 2007
3:02 am - My Sexy Name......

Nocturnal Angel Delivering Indulgence and Naughty Embraces

Get Your Sexy Name

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Thursday, May 24th, 2007
1:40 pm

Your Score: The Cuddle Slut

You scored 88 Loving and 53 Adventurous!

You will cuddle with anyone, anywhere, anytime, for any reason. You hug strangers on the street and kids at first meeting. You may have adopted the european tradition of *kiss kiss* as a greeting. You are very affectionate with everyone, and will try anything. You are probably very outgoing and flirtatious. You love everyone and openly admit it. Congratulations, you are a Cuddle Slut!

Link: The What kind of Cuddler are you Test written by CanadianSunshin on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

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Monday, May 21st, 2007
11:16 am - Gacked from Jess Black
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Tuesday, May 8th, 2007
2:10 am - When a 62 yr old man sends you an email like this, you know every word is true

The Why's of Men

(because they are plugged into a genius)

(they don't have enough time)

(they don't s top to ask directions)

(because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)
(You're laughing, aren't you?!?!)

(so they won't hump women's legs at cocktail parties)

(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)

(don't know....it never happened)
( C'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes!)

And the personal favorite:

(because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)

Love ya Mike! Thank you very much!!

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Monday, May 7th, 2007
12:33 pm - Tired of Angel Emails? - Read all the way through
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Ok BE HONEST...how many of you REALLY ENJOY getting little angel love notes from every person in your address book? You know the ones *I love you so here's a too cutesy angel and some mushy poem to prove it...* ~~ BLEH!! Like the cute wasn't bad enough, THEN they FORCE you by threatening bad luck if you don't send it on to others and back to them to prove you read the email! A vicious circle!

Here's my Version!
Read more...Collapse )Thank you Jill, I truly needed this today

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